FROSTYNEIGE

cool things that happened :
- bought ice cream (nuts) in winter
- got new gloves, washed them by hands
- woke up, cleaned the house and made handmade banh bao!
- you guts don't actually trainer ici hein...
- i took a day off to DRAW
- went out under the rain to do spotting
- had a dream that reminds me to not neglecting the last train home
- met "someone like me" bit different, very chill
- bought a newwww parfume it's berry and musk, hesitating with violet for a more softness (maybe next time I go to this little store in my town)
- woke up and it smells like freshly bread cooked
- considering impure crew as a secret  exutoire for ascii
- looked at lot of images of wolves on pinterest this morning, makes me happy
- crocheted oranges 🍊 and a rabbit with a destroyed eye
- dude from the bus smiled at me (thanks to him)


We got one life !! Go where you wanna go !! (in the bed zzzz mimimi sayonaradios)

6°c it's cold again
buying paint and finding motivation
seeing someone i used to love, ignoring them
i am so sad

9/12 14°c Spent a very very nice day today
Talked about my favourite film (Sala Samobójców) in polski class, it really puts me in an incredible mood because the teacher knew about it !!!! special wink y'know
also went to buy some wool (got red, yellow, brown, creamy white and sweetie N offered me some pink, green and dark brown) to make some supah cute hats, gloves, shapes or anything soft... ✨💖
i feel guéris là jvj
also bought some biscuits au Okay (the choccy flowers shaped) and drank a coffee at Coin Culture 

we learned about godzina (time, heure) in polski and i really struggle with numbers I must train and exerce !!!

Wanted to buy some soap but couldn't find the violet one so I gave up and went out the store without buying anything (rare)!!! proud of not feeling the urge to buy stuffs 

I don't get people who are lying
who are lying even for simple things
this is just bad

how am I suppose to trust you if you tell lies ? 
this is just make me very desperate about humanity 

it's really rainy outside
idk what kind of activities this weather is destined to...

scrolled through "uni aesthetic and positive thoughts" to motive myself........ "this is no hard, it's just new"
there is so much and so I must master everything 

I can say that I am scared about my polish exam, I must train, listen and speak, write also
My will go travel there and to meet polish people and to go to polish stores nyuuhhh give me lots of hope
Like " I can't die before doing it "
There are several polish stores in the city and i am very curious about that
Also I found a really pretty book about a story of a white rabbit who hurts itself and it's really dear to me
Must mention my favourite film is polish... Dominik and Sylwia.... my soul mates.
L, J, B, R, E and Paramaya are polish too. I dearly love my friends, even if it's an indirect link (I don't love my friends because of their origins)
My first best friend at primary school (do we say elementary school?) is polish, their mom's name is Lilyanna ♥️
My teacher's name is very cute too it's Michalina and she is adorable. I had it pretty bad when she saw me walking around the campus instead of going to her class (because I decided to sleep that morning ooups, I needed it) hopefully i didn't write her an email saying that I was sick or whatever pitiful lie I could invent because I was just painting all night (/Towa's routine)

Forgot my pencil case at home... no reason to stay at uni

Had to runnnn under the rain, dashing to my bus stop

i hope you budinternetpeople actually don't read my blog

i am cooked
just disabled people to follow me here because it is too much it is too much i should have done this earlier fuck and I might move soon my domain and forever leave the exposure because we're hitting limits

ihatesexihatepeopleihatebodiesihatebacteriasihateodoursihatehumans

i don't remember what was the film I saw where someone shouts "don't have sex! stop having sex!" in a school and fight with a cutter, this scene is engraved in my mind

note : it's Love Exposure

woah stories on ig are the most temporary useless bullshits ever

Ate and still hungry

I witnessed a discussion between the most seducing woman ever talking on the phone with her date (another woman) in the tram just behind me /blushing

Had a very amazing evening wandering through streets and trashing all night along nrv.vnr

Today I went out, everything appears me so grey and gloomy

it's 00:04 i have uni tomorrow and i clicked on this
of course this is my mo-m-e-n-t. no one can stops me /internet lagging
fuck

nyu
 
Today I went to uni as usual and actually it was a pretty chill and good day because 1) had soup 2) spend time with a person i find cool 3) offered a waffle for the birthday of a classmate 🧇 they're born on 2nd December, they like to draw, I always wanted to offer them a manga but I have to get it somewhere in my cardboards

looking at my dry phone in class and being like "uhm uh i don't have the same motivation anymore"
update : it's play, it's just winter approaching
Must get this diploma, then starting all over again
I want to learn architecture, medecine, arts, travel, communicate, inform people, help, and love.

i just want to be under water sometimes

Consuming my own memories... I don't know if it's good. Retracing the path I took when listening at music, spending time to feel again the lyrics, the sounds, the feelings... It puts me in a very weird mood, it really feels like a cloud or a bubble, far away my reality.

It will always be a part of me. everything I went through, I listened, I tasted. It just displayed here somehow so I don't forget

ok stop dep : TITTUTUTUTUUTITIITURUTUTUT




lol i cried at 3am listening at this one
It really reflected how I felt in the past

SRY FOR BEING A CLOSET OTAKU


It's all about loneliness
(censored)


THEY GO TO KARAOKE LMAO WHAT IS TAT



Shironuma Tetsuo a moment
I don't know, I don't understand him
*creak creak* after few reflexions
Tetsuo is surely a character who struggle to express his feelings (autism?) He probably rawly acts like he thinks it's the best for himself and others, he seems pretty protective and also selfish. He knows what he wants and takes it. Shironuma Tetsuo is like a cold big large fridge
In the drama CD, you can clearly hear the kind of admiration Youji has toward him and maybe the irristible aura and strength he is giving. He is an interesting character but the actual visual novel (censored version) focused on him as the main love interest and also an abuser, because he takes he needs without consent and that's the red flag.

Listened at Zenya's CD drama absolute....................... it's 19:04 of pure torture (censored the link lol for reasons = play the game and learn about the character before)
What shooked me the most is the negligence of Zenya at the end
He is surely a very deranged young boy who is a danger to others and also himself, he hurts himself and also people around him
Zenya suffers a lot of being different, and feeling invalid
He is feared because if his odd attitude but has a really close relationship with Kitani and also his pet friend
Zenya has a tendance to consumerism disorder since he is overprotected by Kitani and buy or throw things as fast as he change his mind
When he got Youji he had a little fun with him then end up abandonning him and let him die

The necessity to type about my feeling about Makoto's CD Drama Regret........... yeahj'AI TROP MAL AAAH C'EST SI TRISTE
Makoto's episode is essentially about a fear of being replaced after being close to someone who struggle and is clearly unintegrated to the conformity of society (of his class)
Youji's frienship seems quite unique to him because he is so distant about everyone, about the everything, the moment they had is very precious to him
He is quite obsessed to maintain the relationship they have, and also has a peculiar proximity he wants to keep
Makoto fears to be left alone, and suffer of it, of not being appreciated
His attitude is like a little child who is easily influenced by his emotions
He is hiding a lot his personal feelings and find comfort in the idea he creates of the ideal of the relationship
At the end he finally figures out how to get what he wants and risk everything, even if it means to hurt the one he loves
He ends up passionately killing the one he wants and end up alone, regretting

j'allais partir en vrille mais j'vais rester calme et posé 
Pour passer mes 'erfs, j'ecris
j'fais c'que j'aime
- Flynt 2nd round & Crown

So much emotions and I am still late everywhere and miss my last train back home
No one can help me, I ain't asking for help
just loudly crying where no one can hear me
No one can save someone who is drowning but I am strong until when
Nonsense speaking
Unconformity 

Putting my limits so relationshits stay away

when the site will hits 500 i will definitely block the fact that you can find my profile on nc !! so much stress
must hide and protect ...
update : I can't find the silly button wtf