Autumn is approching
Uni is starting soon
pumpkin, cinnamon, carrotcake, orange, persimmon make me happy
Healing Healing



to do :
large tape for the expo and F marker
get markers at Mains d'or (uni black and acid), ask how they charge guest
découper des marques-pages calligraphie 🖋️ 
faire des boîtes 🎃 et 🍅 en pâtamodeler 
crocheter des fleurs (wool yellow, and brown and red) 🌻 
🎈buy edamame i czekoladę + chleb, czekoladę ciosta
patatartiner, chocopain, pain
🎈make a lasagna
🎈buy a mono eraser i mines de porte-mines 0.7, 120 gr paper (maybe less)
🎈acheter bic noir papeterie viet (i lost it when I lended it to a stranger)
🎈visit pele mele or Yuman ! (looking for : Les fleurs de Victor Hugo, MADK, Fight Club, Journal or women writers...) / Yuman has no books anymore D:
🎈 visit Mains d'or (acid)
deliver sugar to friend or honey
🎈buy bread and tomato (mayo) and pads
play skate.
🎈 play Alice madness return 
🎈mettre mes cours en ordre
offer a carnet cousu pour quelqu'un avec notes : "write down your recollection of happy moments" to help people to perceive and remember simple happy things 
offer sugar and tea
offer trinkets and hat
print memes

in the city :
paint pole (5 blocks, skatepark quai, VUB)
🎈 buy a mini farde for stickers + Naruto pen for friend idk (offered)
🎈finding grey casquette & socks

🍎 ringo theme next... can't wait + pictures of the garden
note for the next themes : soupandpho (november ?) !!! puddingflan (cosy)  matcha-coffee (cosy)!!! pumpkintart (next autumn)!!! frostyneige (december) (cool Winamp on synthesis page)!!! clovergarden (from march)!!! i have a lot of apple (août - novembre) themed img in folders - ringopomme

also list the happy things en verlan



happy things 🎃🍂🍊🍀🥄🥮💯🫀🍁😺:
- was offered a super elegant fountain pen from G.
- my cat sits on me in the morning
- custom cursors
- dig in my old autumn fall playlist
- little apples in the tree
- honey making with fam
- acquérir la perche pour peindre
- going to a concert alone and having interactions 
- eating in the morning at a nice place, discovering cosy and yummy place in your own city
- asking a plushie to sleep with it at someone's place (important)
- being surrounded with plushies
- eating a pink apple 🍎 from tan market
- got a new nice jacket that looks like Busan's in Kisarazu Cat's Eyes
- two kids checking goodbye
- banh bo and vietnamese desserts
- waking up early because of a hilarious dream
- being noticed by a graffiti artist
- so excited for the concerts !
- sharing oranjiii juice
- being welcomed in class by a friend
- notes
- painting and shooting with Mo
- big fictional boyfriend pullover (thrasher)
- listening at old music
- learning polski
- baking a cake from the recipe of a friend
- making protest affiches in a dream
- if I am too cold : must remind me that I got a kigurumi
- spending some time in the weekend to recharge your battery and draw !
- help someone
- went to japanese class
- noticed that one person with a Death Note bag, and peanut strap plushie
- pin's from concert
- three free markers
- typing printing machine of my mom
- my friend helping me to do administrative 
- big painting for friends
- fresh stickers that are arriving ! 
- not being safe for not attending to events : it is how it is. learned the expression "fomo"
- ate persimmon (????? what taste is that ??)
- visiting greenhouse
- visiting apartment near a castle (and very magic)
- pet an orange cat
- sausage-dwich !!! haven't slipped on it
- there is this girl with a cool style in the bus, she painted her nails
- that one tall girl with a very unique voice also 
- new carnet !!! blackbook
- pumpkin spice latte miamiam
- ate pho
- le mot : placard
- counter a sentence by : "t'as dit quoi?"
- dans la vallée lalala
- cooking for fam (bought potatoes)
- mushrooms in the garden !!!!!! 🍄 
- little carpet for cat
- starting reading No Longer Human
- ringo theme... pudding theme... lemon theme... 
- looking up at the orange tree leaves





my mind is forever stuck here

Pango Wondering songs~


watching:
Jujutsu Kaisen
Bocchi the rock!
Witch Hunter Robin
Bad film (2012) 51:32
Cells at work (live action)
Orange is the new black

Being alone teached me to be more autonomous, and singular in a way I feel I own my life
I thought that I will find love this spring or summer but I just really enjoyed having friends and acting mysterious, flirty, or rawr f daydreaming without any real engagement.
I love being free so much
After surviving a traumatising past with abusive relationships (thinking about it from a distance makes me realise : every "love' relationship I had were actually unhealthy, vicious and toxic) the real strong feeling I can have now is the feeling the cycles, seasons and when my heart aches because of something I enjoy too much

Saturday, constant rain, white bright sky, cloudy and windy, 14:02

currently in bed
best feeling


working evening
meet ups 
apple candy

When they are wearing different outfits and you're like woah who are you

living the "no will to live" but we still do it life 

il pleut grave jpp
j'ai mal au crâne 
jsp comment rentrer chez moi
en sortant ce matin je me suis retournee pour regarder le parking et le toit de là ou j'habite et c'est vraiment vraiment laid et déprimant
rien de poétique, ni de charmant, rien a envier ici
Tout est gris, je perds mes allocations dans 2 mois et je suis nulle part dans cette société de connards

This morning, I've been thinking a lot about Lilya, purple pullover, laughing eyes and slavic tragedy


kyuu nyouhhh ouuuhh rainy until next week it's indoor activities season

hiding behind my bag to eat that delicious sausage-sandwich
omnomnomnom shyly nomnomnoming

lots of homework (no one asked tree sheets of polish grammatykal and translation, struggling)

drank matcha, saw some friends, happy hapoy happy moments

i need a break and larmes artificielles

eyes hurt
morning hurts


Arriving one hour late at uni... My cat was sleeping on my arm

must watch last ep of Kisarazu Cat's Eyes
haven't watched actus 20 oct


j'suis en cours de droit et j'ai toujours pas de potes ici
on est lundi alors j'ai mis une robe verte pour être cosy
Ce matin j'ai craqué et ai lu un peu,  ça m'a calmé : la lecture me sonde vraiment. J'en ai profité alors pour claquer de l'argent dans un nouveau livre que je comptais lire plus tard à la fin de mes etudes : La déchéance d'un homme de Dasai.
En ce moment je lis Sister Love, les correspondances de Audre Lorde et Pat Parker.
Le Journal de Anaïs Nin (1934) il me reste littéralement deux pages à lire mais je n'ai pas envie de le terminer. Je sais que dans le volume suivant elle part aux US, et ça me brise le coeur.

13°c, pluie fine
37:39 this film but I go to sleep
Lilya 4-ever




want to watch polski film : Opération Hyacinthe, 2021
JAK CAŁKOWICIE ZNIKNĄĆ, 2014
Fanfic (Fanfic) - 2023
La Jeune Fille et les Paysans (Chłopi) 
ZACMA: BLINDNESS 2016

I was in my room and told myself : I don't need anything else
Afraid this thought stops myself from creation, make myself satisfied and uninspired but it also truly comfort me

Listened at news and someone said : "we live in a little country with little financial issues and we always find way to innovate with little ways"

it's pumpkin soup today! 🍲

TIC80 is a free and open source fantasy computer for making, playing and sharing tiny games.

pouting and doing nothing this weekend but detapisser entièrement une maison

It takes ages and i am so tired, it's cold also

ignoring messages as usual (sorry guys)

oh i was all alone wandering on a parking grey grey grey clean and aseptic 

- cosy in the train - 12°c
the space seems wider now that i explored it
going out the window , outside is j'sais pas weird
je sens les racines

L'importance de mesurer l'économie par des indicateurs de bien être et non de rentabilité...



Even if i feel crushed lately : my life changed

am not alone
am gaining weight
trying new places
giving support as much as I can
doing my best
being attentive to others and trying to push my ego on the side

Someone saved the 2048 we've done years ago
bless this person and also waybackmachine...

Save your website buddy


Constantly forgetting to tell things to people, life is so fast

Considering writing my thoughts but low energy 

victory of the day : get in the bus on time
i need to do a mental mind map 



so tired I can not even notice the good things anymore
I need a break but i am taking so many breaks already and I must stay awake and aware that's hard


Aahaahh good morning everybuddy

It's Monday and it's 8:15 I got hilarious dreams... Soon it's time to involve myself in the real world, social web and messages, and texts, and uni, and quests, and thoughts, and decide what is the best for whatever is it and for the world. heee... Sometimes, I miss who I was past years (in peace) then I truly feel like I am doing concrete, being responsible and autonomous.

It's been a while we haven't got pho. 

globalement y a des trucs qui me perturbent 

Today is my father's birthday 🎈 
Also artist market !!! important day
Feeling all bubbly
everything went so well, I helped until the end !!!! Everyone were so courageous and I am so proud of them
Such a lovely day, feeling grateful, offering hope and being offered hope
Mutual exchanges, love love love


I want to have time to fold my clothes and to watch Goth (2004)

Cultivate simple happiness
Support others
Take time to explain your point of view

this morning I decided to take time and care of myself instead of anything else 🍊

slow pace... the sun shines so lovely, it's early and I don't want to be stressed
Decided to cancel some plans, because I have things to do I can't neglect and social battery is limited
it's valid

Every time I see my friends I feel so grateful to be alive

During my lone time, I listen at polski rap and list pozegnalny ; meaning : farewell letter, breaks my heart 
I hope the writer is still alive
Feeling so much empath towards others people, strangers even, i am just becoming more kind to balance the fact I look like edgy and depressed all the time irl
Connecting with darkness and light make me feel more alive, like a plant or a human


app youtube without ads : newpipe 

uwaaa i am a voyeur i love watching people's place i miss the rooms project hu

Everyday I take the bus to go from my village to the city and I pass through this dense forest 🍂
During this month I can perceive the colours becoming brighter and the little tree leaves blushing, which is so cute and adorable and intense and remind me how much I adore nature

I put light blush today under my eye but it looks like I cried guhhh

The whiteness of the clouds burn my retines
The cat is sleeping next to me, she is poking my face with her cold nose

boop boop


whatever, the mom is like this and it is how it is
Yesterday I argue with my mom because she was busy and in a bad mood
Avoiding her, we haven't talked about it yet, the fact she wants to keep money for her because she bought me food instantly make me say "then don't buy me anything" because 1) I can properly feed myself 2) I've been done this for 7 years alone 3) I don't need anyone to chose what I should eat

I talked to my bro about the fact I have big projects but studying make me feel like I am pushing them on the side and make me slowly forget about it : raise chickens to have eggs, pass my driving test, travel to Vietnam.
He told me to start with little step : first, learn to speak the language.
Learn with the book the mechanism of a car.
Try to build something outside in the garden (like he does, but now it's so rainy outside actually a good season to plant tree which is also a project)

I wanted to plants flowers like pretty roses and stuffs but I noticed that my mother often remove what I try to plant and what I try to keep alive. She automatically repress it and I feel like bothering. like really. 
Also there is this pretty garden which has been destroyed by the neighbour's and my mother to build on it. Everything now looks so grey. Should I keep trying to make it romantic and pretty or should I leave how it is ?
I think I must fight to protect my ambitions, I must stop people who try to destroy nature or act without a logic of respect. My mother used to be an attentioned woman back then she became a bulldozer which is scary.
I must speak loud about my projects to them, I think that is important.
Maybe it's important to show them that I am concerned and that I am trying, even if it's not right or annoying, I must counter their illogical ways if it appears to me.
Diversity of opinions create innovations, right ?

Also I must to learn to be patient. Not to rush anyone or myself. I have to believe in my own pace and move from my rhythm, not being too influenced, but be open-minded. It's valid to ne guided and supported by my friends. They are my second family and I must trust them more than my own mother sometimes.
Everyone has potentiel, you can learn partially from everyone, not necessarily trust entirely them (because as human beings, we have good and bad in us) but be enthusiastic and optimistic about their projects and knowledge, show courage and support them can make a difference.
In Dobūtsu no mori, a character said : "Helping others, also helps me !"

Trust the progress 

Doctor said I must see an ophthalmologist because I jave a kyst in my eye which is terrify me

ahhh I slept well.
Today many events : Limburgia ttt convention, Castar wall painting, DK affiche workshop, atelier at Schaerbeek is open from 10am... but it's raining and uuuhhhh my whole past week is still heavy on my shoulders. 

I am trying to learn Vietnamese, Polski and Espanol.


must take a shower
"La fatigue n'a plus de limites"
took a shower

Drew a little bit even

maybe I will try to make a carrot cake today

done Nehir's recette again with a little more carrots and less oil 🪔 

update of the eve : j'voulais dessiner mais j'ai passé 3 heures à scroller et maintenant il est 22h :+(

heyo everynyan currently waiting the bus to go home. it's 12:12 
got a test this morning at 8am and have 0 zero z-e r-o reason to stay in the city today, my mind is still floating around my bed somewhere. I got lazy this morning and wore a lame outfit. Feeling unconfident but very very comfy

Nose is running prooongprooonnnt

Update : I took a nap and it was such a bliss
happy friday

watched my favourite film (this puts me in a incredibly good mood, even if it talks about a dude who isolate himself because he thought he was in love and end up overdosing because of someone he met on the web who listened to their despair and have a very pessimist vision of the life - absolute bad end tragedy) lately, feeling like a floating orb, unreal 

I wonder what are doing my very loved ones whose I don't take much news (and actually... don't really need it, I love the taste of not having intrusive feelings and count on the chance and probability to simply meet by serendipity 🍀)

I am falling more and more in love with distance and solitude and also real relationships I knitted with some souls, I should some back to reality very soon
Enjoy your moment

I think I need to take some time for myself, far away the noise, far away the problems, far away people.
Time is so fast, I need a break, but I am scared to deceive. I felt extremely pushed on the side of many things, not at my best, weird.
I watched old movies and reminds me where I was at : in a really gloomy and disappointing reality.
(I don't have looking like a loser, I won't lie ahahahahahaha but i am not ?)

How are you doing ?

reason to go home : need to recharge my d-jix mp3
need to sleep

my hat smells like choccycereals and there is a huge white gross stain on my pants

I wanna go homeee-

got an extremely pleasant day
got some allergies that are calming down
must slow my pace

Anyone has good news for me ? please 

the good new I got for myself today :
- It's monday and there is sun
- My cat came to sleep with me
- I had enough sleep and I am not too sick, allergies seems to calm down
- Called Actiris and they cancelled the rdv(convok) because I have my right to study
- Watched one of my favourite emo film and my reason to learn polski



I deleted the venting moment about my worrying but I shouldn't because they literally pushed me on the side of the project

19:13
je suis super respectueuse envers ma famille et tout mais là ils m'ont
juste bouffé mon dimanche et tous les projets que je voulais faire, j'suis juste assise ici dans un salon à regarder des viets chanter au karaoke si à 21h je suis toujours assise sur cette chaise je hurle et m'enfuis

update : it's 21:03 and they drive me home it's okay i'm good nya


ate a super big apple !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


tired

how to say to people that I only have energy to see them irl once per month that's all. Or even once per year is enough. I don't need people right now, i don't need to be close to anyone ; can people just leave me alone ? Is that too much to ask ? Don't contact me please that's annoying... I don't like to chat with people

just stay away it is better for you
send me email or letter it's 100% more attractive than stupid message notification on social media that makes me feel anxious guh

ok i'm calmind down i just need to disconnect

we aren't compatible

sometimes i am so full of myself and i just wanna say : id you don't have the same ref as me, listen at the exact same music as me, live like me, have the same food taste as me, the same mind, the same past, we aren't compatible


Dreamt that I had a wolf hat and it really comfort me

I am very tired of the week and slept 13 hours


people in the auditoire being so sick and ofc sitting  next to me and coughing near to me : aaaaaahhhhh
and they closed the window i wanna cry and running away the class but i am stuck between a crowd of people and can not move

I miss the film and manga Goth also this page

nooo friends were watching Yuri on Ice this afternoon at the cqueer local but I couldn't finish class on time to come.......... despair

moew crying
went home and rest

Values that I think are important :
kindness, politeness, care, goodwill, empathy, generosity, respect


update : hehe i survived

Had so much fun at the exhibition, collecting junks for the jjjjunkjournal
drinking orange juice and crashing in my bed the second I hit the floor of my room
got me pepepepeperiods also jestem fatalnie 


I have class at 4pm and end at 8pm and tomorrow I start at 8am and finish at 4pm...
2 hours of break between every Tuesday, I will go get a coffee then poop...

ate "flocon d'avoine" this morning and hazelnuts and the crunchy gave me headache 

It's officially autumn ! 21/09
Happy fall season ! (*^ w ^)


It's very rainy here, but I feel there is an immense sun in my heart.
Wishing this solarity hits my environment

I really want to have some time to read more,
and to watch more films
But I feel like studying studying and taking notes and living differently than before

snifff I had a awesome day
sniufff it's now raining outside
snoufff i ate so well, I saw so many beautiful archives of my family and laughed so much

snoughh i still want to cry somehow deep bury inside of me
Social medias and messages feel overwhelming 

Met and talked to same roots community people and they are so so so lovely. Collectivity truly help to find yourself a place in the world. Also communication, patience, flow.
These persons are gathering people from the same origin roots and offer them a place to create, express and meet up. I am a little bit shy but I can feel the big family I want to be adopted by.

Sun gently shine through the white curtains I haven't changed yet in my childhood room. I might have find a little cosy apartment in the centrum during the time of my art exposition and some concerts (Igorrr, maybe One ok Rock)
A friend of a friend in a big house of 7 persons.
I feel like jumping on every random opportunity and then being overwhelmed by so much to do but maybe " if you're attracted to something it probably means something for you."

Collecting things for my friends
Being grateful to be surrounded lovely people, cats, beautiful environment, family and fruits



Found this little strap of Ren from Dramatical Murder in secondhand and this is the reason why I wake up every morning. Also look at all my clean black tee


My skin isn't smooth as it used to be before

I find it concerning

Went to a student protest to support !!! Shouting loudly with my voice
Stepping out of one's comfort zone for solidarity 

When you're kind of anti-social media lately the only media you use is vinted and neocities

I don't like this consumerism addiction.
But I love neocities and the access to the wide world web, so amazing

My first day of school went well !!!
Starting at 8am with Arabic lesson, then German, then Polish then theory of communication.
A super tall black girl sits next to me... and asked my number !! I thought : she is so cool and then this happened. wowowaw.
The polski course is absolutely divine, the teacher names is Michalina and is adorable. We jave have to chose one linguistic options in a list of so many !!! I am participating to  all the courses so I can make my choice. I think I will register depending the teacher, the class and the way the course is structured

Annyways, it's good to start class and draw a little bit. 
Sometimes, I feel a little bit too enthusiastic and euphoric and i am scared people think i am stupid (sometimes I can't keep the serious and dark envy side)

It's so quiet, sky is dark purple
Today is my first day of second year at uni.

Sun seems to wake up late in mid-September and so I am getting ready in the dark...
*yawning*

Good mroewning everybuddy
This morning I woke up way too early  around 5:36 from a hilarious dream that made me loudly chuckles.
The rain was pouring outside and I could hear the wind violently slapping the drops on the window, feeling blue, like in an aquarium.

Made an apple cake with the apples 🍎 from the garden !!! My mom bought an airfryer and this is her precious kitchen new good

🏠 
Some days ago, we went to a conference about housing, there is a crisis about finding a decent place to live in the capital (a reason why I had to move back to my mom's place), the pedagogy was interesting: explaining your key ring. Personally, I only have one key from my mother's house which us extremely worrying about my situation towards others. (not much actually, I decided to make it simple for the moment, and I already lived in three different places)
It's okay, it's going to be alright
Me and my friends are all looking for a place to stay, to rest, to create. Some friends assured my back telling me I can sleep at their place whenever I need too which is lovely (definitely should stay away from men's bed), but I don't want to be dependent on anyone
Anyways, I realised how important is it to have keys or access to places, under a roof, a safeplace. I suppose social prostitution is also a way to find a place to spend the night. You can not get keys without having social interactions anymore, all the steps to get a home, a door, a metallic thing that open it, walls, electricity and whatever build to make a house needed : it's a collaborative work.
🗝️ 

It's 6:58 am and I can hear my brother waking up to go to work, my cat is moewing 
I have an appointment at 13:30 with a friend at uni, then I go deliver a plushie and birthday gift
I hope tomorrow (Tuesday, my first day of school) I will be able to wake up as early as today!
it reminds me of autumn blog from last year 

I dyed my hair yesterday and the texture of it feels weird, I don't know how to dress (big shoes probably cause it rained) and what vibe to give and I must buy a new mono eraser


Saturday. grey, windy. Sunny in the morning. 15:59
Cancelling all plans to stay at home and read is the move of the end of week.

My cat has parasites (tapewormsl and it is stressing me the fuck out D:

Protagonist character isn't me or my turn now or ever, I am the support one and this is such a comfort position!
Romantize being the side character please

starting uni on 15th september ouggh nyoughh it's also Iano's birthday 🎂 🎈 going to bring them an orange and Diddle plushie and papers

Checking my uni schedule and already knowing that you're fucked
the Japanese and the Arabic course are happening the same time as the general classes so I can not participate unless I split myself in half. So disappointed.
I will probably check the German class, Polish, Czech, Slovenian and Italian. Excited because I love learning languages. I will learn on Duolingo too, like my brother does !
Disappointed that there is no Chinese or Vietnamese class. Uni failed

Back at home !
When I arrived home after the festival and sending two nights at different friend's place, my bro and mom where working on the yearly honeymaking (apicultor family)
The artist market was super nice and fun and I became all bubbly during three days, and I hope I wasn't too cringe
I decided to focus on what I enjoyed and happy moments than having regrets on what I did wrong, because it was intense and everything went pretty well (doesn't mean I deny what I can improve for the near future !) (^ w ^*) I got some gifts for my friends ♥️ and lots of trades !! precious people, precious goods and precious moments

My cat is sleeping all day

Leaving my hobonichi and pen at home ;-; can't risk to loose it or to forget it somewhere
Journaling where I can for some days. receipts, fdp (= feuille de poche), website

Goodmoewning, 5 september here. 9:58am super sunny from my room now. The sun rays pass through the fine white curtains. I havent changed it yet, everything is still in cardboard boxes. Today it's friday, we are going to an artist market ! I am super excited. I must not miss the bus since I only have one per hour... I am learning to be on time, to be patient. Tonight I am not sleeping at my place because we plan to stay up late, so I packed everything up to rest at different places. Everything is so uncertain, it's a kind of adventure ! I guess I can count on friends and new meetups, being dependent of people make me less a controlfreak. I must learn to trust people too

words : detachment, confidence and flow



Thinking about starting my blog here.
I really want to keep update Edamamechishiki and Akabanka in the near future.
Adding tomatoes pictures, and update my greeny healing vibe. Hydra is also a dreamy nostalgic place helping the retention of memories.
eternal page is also a really important site, full of daily advices.
Springtime and synthesis are my early season before summer, winter emanate frosty flakes hanging on the glass.
Timeless is my sleepy evening playlists... autumn, june, may.
Cycles.
the rest is on tree.