豆知識 mamechishiki means
"beans of knowledge"
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things that makes life happier :
- tomato juice 🍅 - summer evenings, wanderings 🛴 - writing 🖋️ - laying in bed and opening my hobonichi to complete the day - going to cinema alone - dimsum - planning to see friends and writin them a letter - learn sign language - pictures of my cat !! - painting outside - parkour / breakdance - sleeping with plushies and squeezing them - received a pullover striped black and white, really cool girls in a tattooshop - saying " i LOVE " cures everything - mot : malicieux - fresh veggie 🫛 - a friend lend me a book i was looking for !! - smirking when thinking about the super fun wandering in the store we did and that strawberry cake 🍰 - nyoom back home in car because your friend has the driving license - dreaming of little cats - slaping tomato stickers and also giving some to my friends - what's stopping me to do crepes today ? nothing - isobel's singing - cute smiling blond guy offering me art tools - talking about littérature at a terrace![]()
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blog (*° w °) ~ 🫛🫛🫛🫛🫛🫛🫛 ~Discovered this : Die your daughter - Susannah Joffe https://youtu.be/lgQCeBLZoyM?si=SSuOXqKc5mEeyaHh relate with the lyrics so much (must iframing the video soon on computer) ~~~~ Being in deplacement mziiiiiiinnnnng- bzzziiiiinnnnmmm- buzzling ears ~~~ Things I can't control and never will :
~~~ Sometimes I feel sad then I remember I have such lovely friends and I wish they knew about the love I hold for them and from them. Wish I could offer it to them as how much they deserve it~ ~~~ An asian woman (born in 1979) said : Art could heals the world because it's not essentially political it improves exchange, goodwill, activities I've been meeting lots of moms lately at the atelier lol (very busy women because they all have children while ... i am the child) and they all have a connection with art, painting, hip-hop culture, graphism... I feel they are kind of on the trails of getting a "right" life and I feel so far away from their level ~~~ i wanna watch the film : U. again When I was younger, I went to cinema to watch it And something went wrong with the film and we couldn't watch it entirely I was with my mom and was sooo disappointed and sad, I wanted to cry There was something cursed with that movie And now that I am 25, I am finally able to watch it. It is cursed ~~~~ I am worried about the fact when I will move, I will not being able to go visit my friends at the atelier that often and especially stay late. I must find a way to be autonomous, it means : pay for a car (taxi to go home late, expensive solution, but kind useful), learn my driving license, being courageous walking a lot and being patient, consider the fact of riding a bike soon What is this empty feeling I got in my chest ? The august month feels so flat as my hopes when I got those super high hopes the day before I am exhausted, I do things wrong, ask in the wrong way, forget everything, or everything I do is in the wrong way, I can't express myself correctly of being inspiring Feeling like I am exposing the worst impression of myself in people's minds this flat flow still sticks on my skin today bruh ~~~~ That friend who breaks the vibe by asking questions (me) stop being so curious My eloquence and intonation are so wrong, doesn't fit me. I should exerce myself... I like low voices, sounding mysterious, full of wisdom and knowledge secret knowledge, helpful, kind. Not interacting for nothing and able to react in the right momentum I am often under pressure and it never releases so it's a little bit hard to catch the right time, or flowing with the pace i am always searching my words, getting wrong at expressions how should i study it ? ~~~ Discovered a mutual was singing and post their music online and it is so moody exactly what I need right now ~~~ Took time to write about my dreams and reading the notes I took after dreaming and it caused crazy chemical things in my brain because last night i dreamt like crazy. it wokes me up at 7am saw some little littens cosplaying caterpillars what the fuck ~~~ When I was full of hope, I thought it would be so nice to be a carpet reseller. Gathering, cleaning and offering comfort piece of floors so people aren't cold anymore. I also wanted to have a little store full of second hand furnitures, stationeries, and such... the problem is : what if people actually don't need the items I am selling ? I will find myself to own full of stuffs and people won't need it because finding goods is an adventure. I don't have the charisma nor motivation be the perfect marketing profile and start an economy from that. And so I thought : I should buy what I will use. And give away stuffs I think it would be useful for others. I can't have a big storage, my body capacities has limited energy. And I should remember that. I still think owning a cafe, a little brocante store, herboristery is such a cute idea. but before : I want to travel ! ~~~ Offered plushies to my friends is the best I can do to show my support appointment went well ❤️🩹 i like being a little bit silly when i am uncomfortable so people think i am stupid and can even try to smash me when I am totally self-aware of their weaknesses evening - a spider just ran over my face while i was reading in my bed like ??? excuse me ???? am i in the way ??? premenstrual symptoms grrrrrrrr appointment tomorrow grrrrrr x2 i luv my friends, and i luv cheesecake just cut my hair. now sitting on the floor, leaving all the mess that's how I cope with stress (should take a shower) it's weird, i feel kinda stressed, kinda want to go out, kind want to fall in love and kinda want to isolate myself i don't understand what's going on but :
Locking in until I've done everything right it's 4pm and haven't eaten anything yet or even wearing my glasses because I've been tidying the mess I left in my room for 4 years, sigh cancelling all plans to stay at home is my energy chatchatting with some friends this moewning through messages ___
failed but in frenchu
*post a story on social media* j'essaie de draguer une fille mais elle regarde pas mes story fml *wrong person like the story* going to kms oh no...___ it's a little victory everytime I get out the printing lab with some fresh printed goods made a dream with little kittens, and it was so real i love little cats moewmoew mimido It's the last day of July, 31th. Thursday. I used to be very busy on Thursday, from music school, to anarchist library, to practical works, evening classes. It's half of my vacation now. I am moving soon. I still have free time, I should get some paint (expensive) and go to spots outside. Or to tattoo myself before I could not anymore. I tried to paint with javel on a black old tee that I sadly soiled when I dyed my hair in black. Crow black and my whole bathroom became pitch black. I am content to do some artsy things, I never had time to do in the years! The fact that I feel like running away from the capital make me feel so lonely, I don't take time or energy to contact anyone to actually come help me, I am stubborn to repeat to myself : I can do it alone. Then I whine in my corner that everyone give up on me. but... I don't want to bother. I want to leave as soon as possible and refuse everyone who try to get close to me, to visit my place. I gave everything to everyone the past few years, now I must rest and think about my studies, my family and the garden I must take care. I visited countries on gmaps... It feels quiet, warm sometimes animated. I was sitting on my chair, clicking here and there in the silence, finding spots and cats. Drinking my cold tea, taking screenshots, notes, getting inspired and reassured that I can go to bed to read a book anytimes. The book is a rare uncommon one, I always wanted to read, from Ryu Murakami : Bleu presque transparent. Some days ago I discussed with someone I met at the cinema, they are a street artist also. How come, we became friends ! They lend me the book as we met up to draw together I should give back the book before I move, this is important I think this is important more images of Emotion (1966)
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I must get up and watch this on my computer Girl Power (2016) Documentary mroew what is this weather, how are we supposed to feel in vacation with grey/white cloudy sky all day for a week ? mroew must chill out when I chat about concepts with friends so they can actually answer and we could have a real discussion (can't stop yapping and developing) sometimes I am excessive sometimes i don't say a word from the entire eve and people think i am a creep (probably am) gakuran gakuran gakuran watching Emotions (1966) by Nobuhiko Ôbayashi ~ must add to tomonori blog
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~~~ saying " I LOVE/ADORE " cures every bad mental feeling I could get Feeling very lovely and grateful lately ~~~f A girl offered me her pullover ! Black and white striped (very emo) one !!!!! because i compliment her !! crying of happiness this is so lovely, my day was delightful thank you, people for being alive feeling so bubbly and cheerful about my friends
How can I even think about myself egoistically when people are starving, fires break out in the forests, ecological situation is miserable because of us ?- don't cancel yourself, rethink what you want to say - say what you want to express - talk wisely, be aware of the words you chose - listen to others - give space to others - be interested with what is around you - don't dominate anyone, people are equal - respect environment
Find time for everyone, everything Take it slowly, make it real Be active, rest well, be content with what you have ~~~ the other day Feeling unnecessary moe today (*u w u*) should update gloums letter Saw some of their tags yesterday evening! useless at the function giving no shit posting this on my mainFeeling blue
it's raining today. Feeling blue. My heart hurts, I feel incomplete. Lonely, sad. Giving so much of myself, yet not enough. Maybe not to the right persons ; aren't family members strangers? I feel so lost surrounded by people, I can't catch the pace, conversations in group are difficult, I am cheerful alone in my corner Sometimes I can't connect, I can't express and it's frustrating Lacking sleep, energy, fuel and starting to mentally breaking down since the tears won't come out, and if it will my eyes will start to swell - and I can't let this happen. I have appointment and I must look clean. I need a break but time runs I have to pack my stuffs and move in an uncertain place, uncertain future Studies will eat my time, my artistry sanity and comfort zone I am scared to change and never be able to come back (I will never be able to come back to the place I was living), to sacrifice projects (it's okay I must change, develop myself. I can't stay a child forever and having childish passion, right ? I will treasure it anyways, these will never leave my heart and mind, it's engraved.)soup theme for autumn... (*0 - 0) hyped
... it looks like a tangerine morning listening at music Alys sent to me... ~ i must c/c the link here soon so heart-warming been hanging out a lot lately maybe I overpush my limits but that's okay, one life
Bouquet of Lily - Amavel
Mysterious Books サッチェルバッグ
note in my diary : 'How it feels powerful to wear a long dress ~ " but somehow I feel like vulnerable when I am outside, and it feels it isn't "me" or only partial, because I used to wear heavy chains and boyish clothes for the past years. Wearing black clothes make me feel more efficient to counter danger, to be considerate as an unapproachable person ; these clothes are protecting myself. I love love love the sweetness and softness of elegant clothes, for sure. But I feel so unconfident about my hair, my face, the way I talk. I said last year " I need to soften myself ", then cover my face with black paint wtf Living a crisis right now Maybe it's because everything is so packed in cardboard boxes, I have to make a choice. I am happy my lovely friend wears it and doesn't change their styles. So authentic. I love seeing her, it soften my heart I hope to wear more pretty clothes or totally assume my darkness in front of my mom... Artfight 2025 for Kalek (artfight profile)
~~~ Having unpopular and oldschool taste in music means : you know no one on the timetable of a festival i'm going to bed but three of my fave blogs have been updated so I am excited to be tomorrow!! also seeing my beloved friend who travelled for an entire month! Going to wear frilly cute clothes for the occasion there is a mosquito in my room Lack of motivation is scary How can you imagine a future when you are uninspired ?
••• The situation that some humans can not provide themselves food because of a politic war make me sick. While some people overconsume things I can notice how uneducated, uneconomic, unrespectful my neighbours are on garbage day How hypocrits show on national day How alien I am to this world At least I am not alienated ••• Sometimes I am telling myself that I could go camping and do festivities like other young people but my worries are about the fact I could faint because my body is extremely weak bro is always hungry, has a fast metabolism and 0 fat, run out of energy after two hours of socialising ••• Decided to go to cinema tonight Might arrive late because it's a holy day so the public transport are slower than usual, but it's okay no stress Going on all by myself About to watch : Dare mo shiranai (2004) update : arrived on time ! The film was so lovely, beautiful, poetic and so so so sad also. Had to choke with my tears a little bit... My first experience to go alone at cinema was amazing. Such a beautiful time, and I got a analog ticket ! going to stick it in my agenda and write a note about it tonight I brought an umbrella and wanted to give it away because i am moving soon and own too many umbrellas (I just "forget" things outside because it's inconvenient for me lol) so I just left it there. Someone lucky will find it probably! Spend an afternoon with a cat ! I forgot how intense is to share a moment of confidence with a feline feeling loved, accepted vs Friend starting to write with dots placed after each sentence makes me so anxious /leave the chat
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Jumping out of bed, doing your day, then come back home to ronpiche 💤 feeling : lazy cosy, happy received some presents from Gloums and dreamed about it kinda hungry
MEMESHIKUTE MEMESHIKUTE TSURAIYOO 君と手を繋ぎ踊りたい沢山の人混みの中で君の笑顔だけが輝いて ... i should send this to Chloe It's going to rain all week !! woke up at 14h today what the hell... It's Saturday and I haven't done any artfight attacks this year because I am just melting of heat. 28°c, initially wanted to go get some metallic trinkets found on the ground at marolles but I heard some rain will pour this afternoon/evening. Indeed the sky is very grey! Often telling myself : I should've done earlier ! But it's not the case so let's move forward Mom is coming to move some furnitures, clothes, bedsheets and plants tomorrow. First move first move been invited in a garden party for the first time this summer wawawah my goal today is to find and drink tomato juice 🍅 update : it went well !! Mogo had to leave early but I stayed a little bit of time after, staying in my corner to finish the art I was drawing then left like a ninja Been awaken by the neighborhood leaf blower, his machine is doing awful loud noises fwuuuuu fwuuuuuuuuuu Today's mission is : going out to buy some banh pho ! Went to Tinie'sWatching Tunnel to Summer (2022)
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so beautiful
heyo !![]()
for a sane future : - eternal - express sincerely yourself - moving, go back to family house - find a sane life : wake up at 7h, going to sleep at 22h - living in the day, morning routine - learn to not speak too much, not take too much place - preparing food for midday lunch - organising your week and weekends ! (plannings) - pursuit my studies, do researches - read books, sociology studies - wander in the library, borrow books - discovering new places (always !) - learn to speak "origine linguistique" - trouver une colocation/ des gens avec qui c'est safe et ok - éviter d'être indécis.e, mais laisser le choix - learn timing, or learn to wait your turn to react![]()
to watch : - Cells at work! - Anohana - Beck - Hell's paradise - Gangsta - Darker than black - Witch hunter Robin (ep 3 or 4) - Hellsing (ep.6) - Kisarazu Cat's Eye (last ep) - Ikebukuro West Gate Park (7/11 ep) - Takopi no Genzai film : - One day, you'll reach the sea (2022) - Loin de moi, près de toi / A whisker away (2020) - Into the Faraway sky (2007) - Sunflower (2000) - Comme un aimant (2000) - Supremes (2021) books : - Bleu presque transparent, Ryu Murakami - Love&Pop - Demian, Hermann current reading : - The Diary of Anais Nin - Notes of Underground, Fyodor Dostoïevski - Fahrenheit 451 - 1984, G. Orwell - Sleeping Dead, Asada Nemui watched : - Clannad (all seasons) - Hotarubi no mori e (2011) - Dobutsu no mori (2006) - Pet (2020) - Tunnel to Summer (2022) - Closed Note (2007) - Nobody Knows, Dare mo shiranai (2004) - Parasite (2019) - Emotions (1966)![]()