Ring Ring !! ringopom ringopoooom

read me before scrolling through my sites

If you ever know me irl : Discretion is advised. Respect the fact, this is my personal little space. Sharing my thoughts to the web is a way to stop repressing my emotions, which I usually hide in the reality. Might talk about unpleasant stuffs, maybe very comforting events or whatever can fit in a personal diary; but this is a very solitary place and don't want any comments or interactions with anyone from the irl world. Please respect the fact I don't want anybody to intrude my personal space.

Thankyu for understanding ///

 happy things and silly thoughts :


happy things :
- drinking tea (apple cannelle) instead of stuffing my mouth with sugar (trying to eat less rafined sugar lately, more fruits !), should drink simple water too
- chosing books instead of clothes (too much!)
- saw a ladybug 🐞 ! 17/01 7°c
- mood tracker (journaling)
- my bro made a cake at 23h because he's quitting his job and wanted to bring cakes (petition de principe), spend the eve with him and it was super fun
- watched crochet video : learnt new technique intarsia
- leaving party to going home early to take care of my cat, my sleep and my diary
- updated my mp4 playlist 🎶
- my mom complimented my outfit today
- i can't stop smiling!
- aaahh spend a lovely day reading 600 pages of law at the library in bâtiment H
- Glutamine singer !!!!
- Resume class, activities and being able to continue, going on
- Personalities in K-on!!!
- also spend the evening with OPAC friends i love them so much it's so fun to be here with them being silly and dancing and eating very little silly sandwich and shrimp and catering i am so lucky to know them
- drank a hazelnut coffee with a friend who has slavic class with me ☕ 
- cooking mama theme
- puddingflan page 🍮 
- tomorrow I'll watch Closed note (2007) again and try to study criminology a bit
- drinking cold matcha with ice cubes and watching Goth (2008) is a pure bliss
- ate a shrekos soup 🌱 is was odd but fun
- vacuumed my room in the morning 🌞
- wooden antique furniture in a bedroom, crochet as a jewerly hanger, plants and plushies
- little glassy cat, piano, guitars
- apple shaped plate !!!
- baked handmade bread 🍞 
- little plates of food prepared, diversity and variety of tastes
- cosy house of Nehir !!!
- everytime i pretend i go to pee i actually cry on the spot
- when they're the oNEEE but they already had a boyfriend/gurlfirend or we are too shy to make it happen : 🕳️
- cronch an apple this morning, life is going on ! let's go ! 🍎
- writing a note at a safe place
- going home early to rest 💤 
- found a panda pencil case in secondhand store !! (i love pandas) 🐼
- had a very lovely afternoon with angelnet 💐
- was sad, bought four plushies, feeling better 🧸
- hitting the malicious laugh in my bed because I go to sleep and this is the best moment
- they do matcha latte at uni !!!!!!!
- the french word : TUNNEL : se prendre un tunnel par quelqu'un = le quelqu'un il fait un monologue inarrêtable.
Parler de quelque chose qu'on affectionne particulièrement : tunnel aussi
- ecopoésie 🌱
- received a package from gloums 💌, slowly opening each little packages and bringing some at school so I can read it and avoid socialization 
- dreamt that I had a little bald spot in my hair and never knew about it and thinking of it makes me laugh so much hahaha it's so stupid
- receiving the newsletter from my little tortue-modite from Vietnam 🇻🇳
- reading, falling in love with everything again
- I feel sorry for the guy behind me I ate too much and I must fart
- emmental cheese et boulettes
- saying : "i am tired i go home" and actually being free to leave because you're an adult ✨free will✨
- writing in bed a sunday morning 🖋️
- made friend with someone who own a studio and can welcome me there
- friend who bring you caprisun 🌞
- someone asking you a question you can answer (little success !)
- bought snacks for my cat 🐈‍⬛ she seemed very happy
- the goofy heartshape with hands
- waffle 🧇 with opacare
- solo soup 🍲 
- character figurines png
- border-styles !! groove, ridge, outset / inset
- going to sleep before 22h50 is a beautiful thing
- enjoying taking the countryside bus because perfect heat (it's cold at home)
- the conducteur qui me connaît m'a laisser monter dans le bus alors que i was late ;w;
- that sun shining in a Monday morning through the window repaired with tape 🌞 
- yabai dattebayo as an expression 
- sun gently waking me up after a long night 



🌱🍎🌱🍎🌱🍎🌱🍎🌱🍎🌱

Take your time to express yourself, justifying yourself is valid

Talk very kindly to others ; always

It's okay to be alone

Notice your progress ;
You went that far and still going.

Don't believe your thoughts after midnight when you had a rough day

When you had a deceitful interaction, remember that : At least, you tried 

Sleeping helps to heal

🌱🍎🌱🍎🌱🍎🌱🍎🌱🍎🌱

This is some pictures of the garden ! 25
🌱🍎🌱🍎🌱🍎🌱🍎🌱🍎🌱
Don't know where to write down my thoughts today :

- Decided to make a mood tracker in my journalings, let's see how it goes

There are so many things I must do, and I keep avoiding responsabilities
Struggle to speak, to express, to have a real volonté de participer
autism

update : it's totally valid to feel confused and overstimulated by everything when you come in a new environment




🌧️🌧️🌧️🌪️🌧️🌧️🌪️🌧️🌧️🌧️

Sometimes I am sad

Am I contributing to the distance between me and my friends ?
Is it because I am taking another path that lead to unreachable goal ?
Am I cutting my own roots to allow me to fly away ?


Dreams dreams ~

Had a vivid very colorful dream.
It was like I've been adopted by a Sylvanian Family. A couple of old grandparents adopted me and three others little one, I was the taller one, it was like they came in a miserable pet shelter and took us under their wings. We had to help them to do tasks in their big house and I never knew precarity again, everything was doing well, my new family were kind, funny, dreamy. The ancients explained us kindly what we had to do, they were attentive, comprehensive and always joyful. They never raised their voices towards us because we never did anything wrong or evil. The big house were in the middle of a mountain so when we went to help for the groceries to buy biscuits, chocolate, tea, honey, wine and more stuffs, me and the three children had to sit and hold tightly the bottles so the rocks on the road don't make hits the glass and break them. The tasks were manual, easy and I feel like I was useful to someone who try their best to make is good for us. Our clothes were pretty, and the sun seems eternal there.


01/26 thinking of consulting a nutritionist 
I don't know where I am

I think I have a weird flow
sometimes I feel so uninterested and them super obsessed
Can I just be normal ?

FOMO hits hard, I didn't go to the third day of expo, I feel like miserable and awkward

Sometimes I suddenly have the huge desire to be appreciated, admired, loved (I am just going to fulfill that emptiness with art)

There is no abri-bus at my stop and it started to heavily rain like never, of course the bus was late and I ended up drenched (my shoes will take time to dry...)

Sometimes it feels weird when friends with different energies meet 

Since I've been taking notes on Neocities, I did not really seek to discuss with anyone anymore 

oh no i am so sad
je suis si triste de cette soirée 
je crois que je ne suis pas faite pour accueillir un public
ils m'énervent 
je voulais montrer plein de choses à mes amis, montrer les tapis que j'ai ramené et que j'ai nettoyé ce matin de toute mes forces
je voulais pas partir en courant sans même le temps de mettre mes pulls alors qu'il fait si froid dehors
je voulais pas sembler pressée sous le regards indiscrets de ces gens
je voulais pas qu'ils s'introduisent dans nos discussions, je crois que c'est égoïste de ma part de rejeter les autres
je voulais rester pour les concerts
je ne voulais pas que les membres de ce groupe me voient avec ce chapeau ridicule que jai cousu moi-même quand j'avais besoin de douceur
je suis épuisée, j'ai mal aux yeux

je pense qu'il faut qu'on prenne notre temps, pas qu'on rush et quon se voir en fin d'aprem
je pense que ca ne me convient pas 
pas pour ce qu'on construit
on est plus fort que ça 
je lui ai envoyé un msg



Tropaeolum majus
need to grow capucine in the garden



🥮 oranjicake 🥮