Moments of happiness

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  !　　　　!　 　   　 　 　 !　 　 　 !　 　 | 　 ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
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Drinking lilac tea with mint and apples ~

Wild garden next to my door,
Lonely walk, my shoes tread the floor,
Green grass and blue flowers,
The birds are born free.
May lily of the valley,
Purple violet petals in the tree
My eyes catch the sleepy bumblebee
Spring odours finally my heart feels in peace.

Reading a book ~

Absorbing letters, words, ideas, thoughts, logics, learning semantics, ideologies, psychologies, feelings
Memorizing concepts
People's internal universe

How interesting.

Listening at interview of women writers

En 1970, Anaïs Nin revient sur sa vie telle que livrée dans son célèbre journal, archives RC
Donna Tartt interview (1992), Manufacturing Intellect
Madeline Miller: Circe at Chicago Humanities Festival

Fruits ~

I ADORE FRUITS SO MUCH omg
fave : apples, berries, tangerines

Nostalgia

A sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past.
synonyms : reminiscence, longing, yearning, recollection, wistfulness...

Waking up at 7am ~

Able to waking up early offer you so many opportunities to motivate you in the day.
Organisation, preparation. Being on time (ponctuality)

Going to flea market~

Like a ritual. Always loved wandering in flea markets, under the sun, feeling morning the auras around you. Being surrounded with old things, it brings back memories, stories, life that has been lived.

Being inspired

Ask you good questions. What make you feel alive ? Each little thing count. It is in your roots, you can feel it. Feeling inspired means finding new ways or interesting ways to explore life.

A roof, a house~

The feeling of protection when you enter in a room you can rest. You don't own anything from this world. But at least, you can rest a little bit.

The person you will meet

Trying to be yourself, the most natural possible way. Sincere, no lies, no borrowed words. Yourself. You can not hide who you truly are. Don't worry about being a little bit odd, lost, in search. The human always have the right to learn from others. Entertwining connections. Be kind, be curious. Talk easy, about subjects you know about. Reconize same interests, or same ways of living. Advice, offer, share. Equally respected

The feeling of a dream

Soothing, reassuring, comforting, lenitive, calming, euphoric, awkward, embarassing

Months

Created a page for the month of May !

Month of June

Meeting

Crossing the path of people who master their passion, their job is truly a great experience. I have been into communication and curiosity of know everything about the world, about how it works and others make me move and discover things. Always been interested in - everything, but I feel like finding ways that brought me to a logic of circumstances. My admiration for handwritings, and reading, letterings, calligraphy. These are really things that make my heart beats faster.

Distancing from over feeding (causes and effects)

We are going to talk about eating disorders. But in a healthy way, I must try. Feeding yourself is a personal way to take care of your existence, it is a primary need. "When I am overthinking about stuffs I don't want to execute, the food seems to be a comforting way to bury myself in." This is the lazy and unhealthy way to feed yourself, I think. I tried to distance myself from this and only eat following a schedule and specific ailments. Cooking take energy and time, and i must think to organise it. There is no way I am waking up, and stuff my stomac with something before drinking a full glass of water. Also I make little portions in very pretty antiques cups and I always make a plate as an offrand, and be thankful to the world, to anyone, anything before eating.

Healing ~

Healing. I am healing. I keep in silence so many things buried deep in my heart and it started to burn my organs and so I had to experience despair to understand that I can, that I should save myself. We are the cause of our degradation and negligence and destiny. The fact we can act and change our life make us powerful human beings. We can and should save ourselves.

Found a job~

There is a hope. A school proposed me to come help and welcome primary children in the afternoon ! 🎒🌱🍎 I am curious about this. My life is saving me and I see much more positivity for my future.

Summertime

Admiring gardens, parks, green spaces in my town. Green is a beautiful color ! Eating cold salad with tomatoes, mozzarella, basil, carrots, cheese... So comforting ! Also haricots with mushrooms, ail and green onions (recipe from my friend) Eating ice creams. Offering love, attention. To my people, to myself. Travelling soon !

Came back home with new recipes

My travel brought me so much positive things ! Courage, goodwill, happiness, memories... and recipes ! So many amazing meetings and exchanges. I am very grateful to each person I've met.


Recipe of the Tartines :
soft bread
cucumber
egg
ham
mayo

Cut in very small dices everything and mix it in a bowl, let it rest around 20min - 45min, then fill it in the soft bread, then place it in the fridge for 45min - 1 hour.

I added aneth, because I LOVE aneth so much !!!! I put it in everything

Sanctify

As every human being, our mind can be influenced with bad or good emotions.
Many parameters such as our conditions, environment, time... intertwine with the way our lives will be built.
For a long time, I thought something was wrong with me, and the way I am/act. But I try to slowly remind me every dat that I am what I am and nothing is my fault, and all I can do is offer my best to contribute to a better world. Acceptance.

Letting people go

People enter in other's people life, sometimes they stay, sometimes they go. They are totally free to move, away or closer. Some people share similarities and differences with us.

Seasons can't wait

The title is a quote of a book of Ryû Murakami, from Rain ライン (1998)

Counter abuse

Say stop clearly out loud to the people of group of individuals Trust yourself and your instinct. When someone seems dangerous, you kind of feel it Family can be the first one who abuse you. Be careful to not lose yourself in their speeches. Explain your limits Explain why you don't agree Be smart and learn about personalities types to be able to understand it (ex : strict identities philosophy) Isolate yourself when you feel tense Be able to accept the differences no matter what Hear people around you Don't get influenced with emotions Sometimes you can not help. You can not save the world Accept the fact that you can struggle and not finding the words Take distance when it's too much Be able to apologise sincerely Communicate when you're in pain after thinking about it Don't forget that : life is unfair but life has so much to give also

Lasagna !

A friend of mine learned me how to make lasagna, actually you don't have to boil the pasta before like i thought!! (i am bad at cooking) you need to cook separately the cream (butter, flour, milk or cream, cheese) and the tomato sauce (tomato sauce, meat, veggies like spinach) and just place one layer of pasta in a container and place the different contents in an alternating order. The bake it in the oven !!

Technostalgia

A word that describes the feeling of being submerged with technology with a reminescence of good memories

Answer the call

If someone is calling you, you have the right to answer or to deny it, right ? But sometimes, life is coming to get you, to show you that you matter.

Love is enjoyable

Sweet tooth, sweet thoughts, sweet people.
No gift just present is enough I would not expecting anything from you and you would not expect anything from me Free souls
Wandering in cemetery
Perfect date
Sunday
Love is simple, pure, enjoyable. Lovr doesn't hurt

You can not control your emotions

You can not control your emotions, but you can influence your thoughts ; to believe you can. It actually kind of works. Believe you will have a good day. Believe life is okay. Believe you can do your best. Some call it sophrology.

Timeless

Our existences are temporary.

Sensation of dream

The state of dreaming is a very singular feeling and writing a dream can not give to other the same feeling you have experienced it

  Be kind with yourself
  Hydrate your plants and skin
  Respect your needs
  Laugh and smile
  Observe life
  Learn from your mistakes

- Ruby Throat - in the arms of flower




Visit the seasonal journaling blog for more.

Visit the June Month blog project 🌼

Visit the Autumnal season blog 🍂  
⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆
Visit the Winter season blog  
　 *ﾟ+｡・+｡ﾟ*｡+｡* ﾟ+｡・+｡ﾟ
Visit the coming back of spring time ~ (+ my wills to move out)

Visit the e t e r n a l garden

Visit the ~~~ synthesis spring ~~~



Habits I need to adopt in my life :

Saying thanks to the world before eating
Waking up early (7am) / Going to sleep before midnight
Stop listening at music too loudly after 10pm
Answering messages / Communicate directly
Remember happy moments / Journaling
Sharing knowledge
Talking using exemples to support an idea (avoid missing subject)
Expressing myself in a clear way

Learn to be kind with yourself
Wearing cute outfits, brushing your hair, caress your own skin softly
Smiling at the mirror, smiling to people in street
Taking care of your room, clean up your space





        

          

            
Your immortal lover would be Hestia !
            
As a lover of the goddess of the hearth, you long for stability and emotional maturity in your relationships.  You like the heat of love, but not in the fiery way of passion, but the warmth of looking at a lifelong friend.
          
          
        
        
          
Want your own ? Visit here!
      
      
Némésis : Déesse grecque. Fille de la Nuit, elle est la personnification de la vengeance divine qui s'exerce contre les hommes cherchant à échapper à leur destin.





What I want for my near future :
Finding a peaceful job, being useful for society
Keep collecting items that make me happy
Moving in a house with a garden
Walking in the forest and screaming with all my lungs
Looking at the clouds
Drawing more and being proud of my creations (Letters, enluminures, Still life, skies, woods, moss collages, textiles and fabric fine artworks, serigraphy, printing stickers)
Writing letters to friends
Admiring beautiful spirited people
Taste flowers and lot of tea ! (lavender, lilac)
Supporting and being supported
Eating seasonal fruits
Printing my neocities page in a little fanzine
Writing a citizen journal
Meeting sensei in calligraphy
Travelling and working in travel
Making a jfashion and fashion page, asking strangers in street to shoot their outfits
Taking beautiful portraits
Uploading my photographies from digital camera on NC (done on flickr)
Writing a visual novel
Thinking more positively and sharing good vibes to people
Looking at people in eyes
Writing beautiful sentence, poems, lyrics
Studying new words, concepts
Learning more about communication
Being able to construct a house, architecture basis
Technostalgia project
Cultivate eternal & timeless

Dream diary 夢日記
-
Remembered that blue bird,
Along this highway,
Seen through the window,
Who are you looking for ?

Lone, Lost
The wind through your eardrum
Feathers paint with fractals

The ground is grey
Textured by multiple different gravels
Gravitation doesn't help you to fly
-
The little house
Leaning on the edge of its mountain
-
Surrounded by eyes
Camera target
Everyone is looking

Nobody knows
Where you hide
Inside your eyelids

Wounds are open
Mouth is closed
You scream
-
Locked inside a room
Green sky, dull colours
Pale walls of ashes

You look for a key
The entire space of the room sticks
On your skin
-
Following the rose
Under the opened window
Glass are blurry
It's slightly raining outside
Moving to go downstairs
Gorgeous old wooden stairs
Draped with a long dusty burgundy carpet
Opening the door of the garden
Green light and natural rainy scent
You're looking for statues

-

I ate the heart of the lover
I ate the heart of the meat
I ate the heart of the life

And i got sick
Liters and liters of bile
Flooding from my mouth

Is life is taking revenge ?

-

Blue tower, like my bedsheet
The elevator of glass lift me up to find my room
There was a water pool with lightning and some attracted vehicles that seemed floating around
This place was a dream
I couldn't find my room so I searched the keys
The heat was getting hotter while I was trying to not panic
There was no number on the keys
So I had to use my head

room n°

-

Picnic tables in a green gymnasium
Primary school, cardboard signed plates
Fancy concert fair, eyecatching guitar

-

Culture market and high temperature
Folding carpets, lots of fabric
Am I looking to travel ?

-

A hug for someone who needed it

-

Falling asleep in a couch somewhere, and waking up in a totally forest-like house
Being looking for cold water, or that icecubed apple juice 
Opening the fridge and seeing so many desserts my friends have done (I asked myself : why so many ?)

-

Took an apple from a stand and crush the cardboard box because it looks so crispy
What the fuck is wrong with me
The seller saw me and so I said sorry
But I explained that I love apples and the crisps and he laughed (I think)

-

Summer, swimming pool, wind
I miss the good old times

-

Was back at my mom's house
There was gusts of wind
Received a video on my phone
My brother was here, outside
The garden was shattered
In front of the house, there was so many flowers and a sheep

-

Sleepy brother,
I offered him a cushion and plaid 
and opened the window so he can rest

-

Was in the forest with schoolmates, decided to take another way, I sit on a bench.
It was warm, I was smoking, then I saw an old friend Gielis. He appeared, and I received many many messages from N who went visit his parent's house. I miss them. I also wanted to visit my parents.
Then I started to walk and some flying bugs were disrupted me, I had to walk back because I forgot my pullover somewhere. Then I saw Juliette running and playing a ball game with my teacher, I walk to their ways, it was a course and I was late so I sprinted and the schema of my solitude was proven that I grew differently.

-

Central Station. Civil war.
The duo splits. I just wanted to take the train to watch the landscapes, with the high tagged and deteriorated walls. Someone was by my side, consider them as my partner. A bomb exploded and I had to run away on the roof of a train someone tried to stab me and I unconsciously seduced them 

-

Metropole, hide myself in an underground cafe/bar. Dark wooden tables, some paper sheets to draw on. Took my markers, and start to write. My friend, Nz was here, I felt his staring gaze in my shoulder, tense as usual.

-


We were at the Central station, the large station of train. I was about to take the train, like I usually do and watch the landscapes, with the high tagged and deteriorated walls. But this time, I was with someone, I don't know who, it was someone I consider as my partner, as a duo. Someone I trust, like we were in a shounen-ai story. Suddenly, a war exploded and we had to run away and the duo splits.
I lost my half. The half of my heart. My half-soul.
I jumped on the top of a train and it starts to leave the station. Someone tried to hurt me, but I unconsciously seduced them.
I struggle. It hurts.

-

Landlord came to visit my place, there was people on my house like a kind of school exposé and each of us had to speak or show something.
Friends of mine were animating and suddenly the landlord asked me to show something, a song. Something that speaks my mind. It tookd me some time to decide what I wanted to show, and I was angry because I just had a dispute with someone and ended up a toxic relationship. I played " Sleeping beauty " by Akiakane because I always thought it was one of the most beautiful, powerful, and heartbreaking  song I ever listened.

-

We were joining for a date
You wore that little ear cat hat
And we were going to a fair together

-

It was rainy outside, 
my crush was cleaning my house,
I was supposed to take a shower and wear a very comfy pyjamas
then I went downstairs and
There was this cat I never saw that we let entering in the house
It has colours of cocoa milk

~~~

Had to move from this house
My ex was here, trying to take back all his craps and I helped them
Maximalism dusty vintage items

~~~

Often I dream of that attic
Very dusty one, with ropes or spider webs all around the ceiling
Old wooden furnitures
I feel in peace there...
Outside stairs from the trees to the garden
Events such as flea market in my street
People are happy...

~~~

Glass table, a computer and a clean setup, room to install myself at desk 
Podcasting very funny one
What is happening in the others rooms ?

~~~

Authority and dominant system radically decided to poison "people" like us
And so they injected in our veins, a slow drug destined to kill us
I was laying in a hall with thousand of people, dying
but we were monitored in individual bed,
Trying to sleep and never wake up

~~~

L+na came hug me and saved me from this melancholy
It was dark outside, and I couldn't see anything
But I felt her solarity and warm hug

~~~

Je cherchais un endroit où me cacher, entre sa tringle de vêtements ou la table de son salon avec les canapés en cuir de mon père et le sol carrelé froid et poussiéreux...
Cachée sous la table de son salon, il m'a trouvée. Il n'était même pas fâché. De savoir que je m'étais introduite chez lui alors qu'il rentrait de voyage
On aurait dit la maison de ma tante de la personne que je considérai comme ma tante quand j'étais petite, mais j'étais chez Y

~~~

I dreamt that I was with someone i met in primary school
M.Corn et les douches communes 
orange lightning for public restroom shower (ew) make a very weird vibe

~~~

Les petits insectes crieurs
Se cachent-ils 1) dans mon oreille 2) au rebord des fenêtres 3) au dessus de ma tête

~~~

Poèmes en vers dans un très grand livre avec un ours
Table en bois et rideaux de dentelles
Rien autour
~~~

I went outside my mom's garden
and there was a rave party atmosphere 
but the very end with orange cloudy sky and a fire

~~~

Grand pré, un champ de scout vert
Les coussins du cercle OPAC, une structure massive aléatoire et confortable
Pleins de moutons et de chèvres !!! Je suis assis.e près de Em
On a des amis, on est amis
Petite chèvre brune aux pupilles horizontale, on dirait qu'elle sourit presque

~~~

I dreamt that my mother accidentally killed my cat
woke up in tears
~~~

Holidays in snow moutains, ski and picnic tables outside
Shadi and Juliette and all the crew were there, doing homeworks 
It was so recomforting to see them, their personnalities haven't changed
No one betrayed no one
We were the real ones
what about now ?

~~~

Lots of bunnies in my garden
Feeding the birds

~~~

My brother invited his friends at home
And we had a secretive good connection They were all so hungry and i opened the window and give them one yaourt 
To me and my bro that was hilarious 

~~~

Coughing blood
Black blood, was tired
Exhausted in my own dream
I started to cry
My friend (J adult) asked me if i was okay 
I pathetically answered that I feel sick

~~~

Went to ask information in a ski souvenirs shop and the vendor was actually friendly,
The urge to play guitar, so we draw a classical one on a paper and struggle to play

Long hair girl sleepy on my laps...

~~~

It was Halloween eve and I was hanging out with a tall vampire
They wanted to keep me hand for dinner, but it was not a joke
I was scared and decided to learn metalwork to make a hand looking jewerly with the "repoussé" technique for them
Like an antique metalware hand clip...

~~~

Deep blue skatepark, roller paint everywhere
Ashtrays everywhere
Large cool sofa
Huge playroom
Not a shadow of inequality

~~~

Tragic dream cinematic horror
Where trains overflow humans
To eat we wait at the platforms and murders and accidents are committed with each train passing

~~~

Notebook archives, a white dress young girl at the window (is she committed suicide), big friendly blue spider

Reminiscence of lost time

~~~

ring ring
Someone is behing your door
rong rong
You played dead
ring ring
Everyone knows you live here
rong rong
Everyone knows you are here
ring rong
Someone is trying to reach you
But you have no idea of their intention
You can't hide because everybody knows your show
Being abused in your own home

~~~

Endives, trois peluches canards, dessin

"Oh waw voir ces peluches rassemblées me font déborder de bonheur !!"

~~~

Made a dream the night of 8 march 
my stomach hurts and I feel something was living inside
but it was to late to get a surgery and remove it
So my destiny was just go keep the thing inside me
until it kills me, get expulsed by my own body or until it dies

~~~

Pho soup, rice flat noodle : bánh phở
Been dreaming of cooking pot under the roof of a last floor (like my previous appartement)

Being able to see through the walls, observing the neighbourhood, and even teleport

Teleported in another land, far away where spring flourish earlier and enjoying sakura trees blooming at night (or early in the morning) quiet quietly, the petals dance and falling on the streets

~~~

My brother brought me a guitar because I was sick

~~~

Had two helium balloons and was flying

~~~

Was drawing on free paper in the library, is was a busy little room with lots of artists' drawings taped on the walls. I wanted to be part of this. It seems they had spend lot of time all together there.

~~~

Was with a friend (Alys) in a hema store, was wearing a dress without headress, saw this huge kind of sanrio moto / helmet for 6e and decided to share the price and our found together ! 

~~~

Was arrested and obligated to stay at my place while my ex (man) was free to fight at the war and leave the house. Had to write letters to communicate, manga looking

Received white cute handmade fabric badge which looks like an angel

~~~

Helping to scoop ice cream and making
with an egoistic little woman


Existential question about my hair, about the lines that separate your hair y'know
"My hair won't met me change the side of my bangs, they rule it and I can't decide not control it"

~~~

Devantures clichés de cafés et mots clés (literally a translation in ly head of my wanders on gmaps haha)

~~~

Old facebook posts that makes me laugh 
~~~

ughhh tired *not impressed*

~~~

Was living with someone with a big black dog, and he bought a camera with two battery I had and lend them, to make funny souvenirs videos. We checked the options on the camera and there was mini-games on it !!

~~~

Playing rock, scissors paper in vietnamese with my mom !! Also games with snakes themed (?)

~~~

Was at my mom places with a friend, a little boy or 12yo I met and helped from the streets, and we were hiding so  my mom doesn't discovers him but we decided to tell her the true and present him to her because we had to left the house and this is the most easiest and honest way. Also it's the best exemple I can show to my young friend : " playing the card of truth"

~~~

Was attached to a contemporain art structure with 5 others people and somehow my alter ego or the girl from Goth was throwing to us razorblade of shurikens and i got touched by one in the stomach and it hurts

~~~

Was on holidays in a little maison de vacances un peu décentrée mais bien fournie en terme d'objets
et on hésitait à partir et changer d'endroit pour aller plus dans le centre mais dans un espace + petit
Hotel like home...

Mes cheveux étaient mouillés ?

~~~

On était en train de sortir pour aller fumer et la porte du couloir des escaliers était différente, modifié comme si le propriétaire avait entamé des travaux dans les finir, ce qui était incompréhensible pour nous et les voisins. Nous croisons les voisins du seconde étage et Lou disparaît en courant jusque dans la chambre pour se cacher sous les couvertures car "elle est timide".

J'étais gênée de sentir la cigarette et de discuter de théâtre à mes voisins si gentils.
~~~


Tea party dans un grand château avec des photographes, as usual I bring too much things, bags and trinkets (memories childhood)
Some lolita seems more experimented and older, they have their creator brand

~~~

Concert with my older brother, first time I see him in this atmosphere and attitude
He seems totally fine. He was with Ryu his japanese childhood friend I just saw in the city !

~~~

Quartier tendu ou j'entends "après 22h" c'est la fin !
Rencontrer son amie d'enfance (Julie) à une gare avec sa mère à une station où tu es complètement perdue
Elle voulait être pédiatre et finalement travaille en économie politique pour un parti religieux

~~~

Had an exam to pass and only got two sheets instead of three and obviously failed
also my phone was ringing and I couldn't stop it because this fucking yaoi advertisement 

~~~

Really fluffy big cookies i can not eat

~~~

Carnaval, Oranges sanguines, masks of laces

~~~

Dreamed that my cat was sick so I was folding a bed for her