Journaling (start 05/24) pixelcat
Moments of happiness :

Drinking lilac tea with mint and apples ~ Wild garden next to my door,
Lonely walk, my shoes tread the floor,
Green grass and blue flowers,
The birds are born free.
May lily of the valley,
Purple violet petals in the tree
My eyes catch the sleepy bumblebee
Spring odours finally my heart feels in peace.
Reading a book ~ Absorbing letters, words, ideas, thoughts, logics, learning semantics, ideologies, psychologies, feelings
Memorizing concepts
People's internal universe

How interesting.
Listening at interview of women writers~ En 1970, Anaïs Nin revient sur sa vie telle que livrée dans son célèbre journal, archives RC
Donna Tartt interview (1992), Manufacturing Intellect
Madeline Miller: Circe, Chicago Humanities Festival
Fruits ~ I ADORE FRUITS SO MUCH omg
fave : apples, berries, tangerines
Nostalgia ~ A sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past.
synonyms : reminiscence, longing, yearning, recollection, wistfulness...
Waking up at 7am ~ Able to waking up early offer you so many opportunities to motivate you in the day.
Organisation, preparation. Being on time (ponctuality)
Going to flea market~ Like a ritual. Always loved wandering in flea markets, under the sun, feeling morning the auras around you. Being surrounded with old things, it brings back memories, stories, life that has been lived.
Being inspired ~ Ask you good questions. What make you feel alive ? Each little thing count. It is in your roots, you can feel it. Feeling inspired means finding new ways or interesting ways to explore life.
The love you deserve
A roof, a house~The feeling of protection when you enter in a room you can rest. You don't own anything from this world. But at least, you can rest a little bit.
The person you will meet~ Trying to be yourself, the most natural possible way. Sincere, no lies, no borrowed words. Yourself. You can not hide who you truly are. Don't worry about being a little bit odd, lost, in search. The human always have the right to learn from others. Entertwining connections. Be kind, be curious. Talk easy, about subjects you know about. Reconize same interests, or same ways of living. Advice, offer, share. Equally respected
The feeling of a dreamSoothing, reassuring, comforting, lenitive, calming, euphoric, awkward, embarassing
MonthsCreated a page for the month of May !

Month of June
Sweets~People around me seems to like cookies. They talk about it, offer me some to eat, even have jokes about it and I can not understand. Because I never thought of buying them of bake them, but each time I taste some, it is delicious. It's now connected to a comforting memory.
Meeting mastersCrossing the path of people who master their passion, their job is truly a great experience. I have been into communication and curiosity of know everything about the world, about how it works and others make me move and discover things. Always been interested in - everything, but I feel like finding ways that brought me to a logic of circumstances. My admiration for handwritings, and reading, letterings, calligraphy. These are really things that make my heart beats faster.
Distancing from over feeding (causes and effects) We are going to talk about eating disorders. But in a healthy way, I must try. Feeding yourself is a personal way to take care of your existence, it is a primary need. "When I am overthinking about stuffs I don't want to execute, the food seems to be a comforting way to bury myself in." This is the lazy and unhealthy way to feed yourself, I think. I tried to distance myself from this and only eat following a schedule and specific ailments. Cooking take energy and time, and i must think to organise it. There is no way I am waking up, and stuff my stomac with something before drinking a full glass of water. Also I make little portions in very pretty antiques cups and I always make a plate as an offrand, and be thankful to the world, to anyone, anything before eating.
Healing ~Healing. I am healing. I keep in silence so many things buried deep in my heart and it started to burn my organs and so I had to experience despair to understand that I can, that I should save myself. We are the cause of our degradation and negligence and destiny. The fact we can act and change our life make us powerful human beings. We can and should save ourselves.
Found a job~ There is a hope. A school proposed me to come help and welcome primary children in the afternoon ! 🎒🌱🍎 I am curious about this. My life is saving me and I see much more positivity for my future.


Go back ?
hi there ! Welcome in my little « HYDRA GARDEN »

this is a project to work about healthy habits, solutions, caring process and self-love.


Visit the May Month blog project

  Be kind with yourself
  Hydrate your plants and skin
  Respect your needs
  Laugh and smile
  Observe life
  Learn from your mistakes
What I want for my near future :
Finding a peaceful job, being useful for society
Keep collecting items that make me happy
Moving in a house with a garden
Walking in the forest and screaming with all my lungs
Looking at the clouds
Drawing more and being proud of my creations (Letters, enluminures, Still life, skies, woods, moss collages, textiles and fabric fine artworks, serigraphy, printing stickers)
Writing letters to friends
Sharing my art and potential
Admiring beautiful spirited people
Taste flowers and lot of tea ! (lavender, lilac)
Eating fruits
Printing my neocities page in a little fanzine
Writing a citizen journal
Meeting sensei in calligraphy
Travelling and working in travel
Making a jfashion and fashion page, asking strangers in street to shoot their outfits
Face tattoo, tongue piercing
Taking beautiful portraits
Uploading my photographies from digital camera on NC
Writing a visual novel
Thinking more positively and sharing good vibes to people
Looking at people in eyes


Habits I need to adopt in my life :
Saying thanks to the world before eating
Waking up early (7am) / Going to sleep before midnight
Stop listening at music too loudly after 10pm
Answering messages / Communicate directly
Remember happy moments / Journaling

Learn to be kind with yourself
Wearing cute outfits, brushing your hair, caress your own skin softly
Smiling at the mirror, smiling to people in street
Taking care of your room, clean up your space





Your immortal lover would be Hestia !

As a lover of the goddess of the hearth, you long for stability and emotional maturity in your relationships. You like the heat of love, but not in the fiery way of passion, but the warmth of looking at a lifelong friend.

Hestia
Want your own ? Visit here!

Visit the June Month blog project 🌼
Dream diary 夢日記
-
Remembered that blue bird,
Along this highway,
Seen through the window,
Who are you looking for ?

Lone, Lost
The wind through your eardrum
Feathers paint with fractals

The ground is grey
Textured by multiple different gravels
Gravitation doesn't help you to fly
-
The little house
Leaning on the edge of its mountain
-
Surrounded by eyes
Camera target
Everyone is looking

Nobody knows
Where you hide
Inside your eyelids

Wounds are open
Mouth is closed
You scream
-
Locked inside a room
Green sky, dull colours
Pale walls of ashes

You look for a key
The entire space of the room sticks
On your skin
-
Following the rose
Under the opened window
Glass are blurry
It's slightly raining outside
Moving to go downstairs
Gorgeous old wooden stairs
Draped with a long dusty burgundy carpet
Opening the door of the garden
Green light and natural rainy scent
You're looking for statues

-

I ate the heart of the lover
I ate the heart of the meat
I ate the heart of the life

And i got sick
Liters and liters of bile
Flooding from my mouth

Is life is taking revenge ?

-

Blue tower, like my bedsheet
The elevator of glass lift me up to find my room
There was a water pool with lightning and some attracted vehicles that seemed floating around
This place was a dream
I couldn't find my room so I searched the keys
The heat was getting hotter while I was trying to not panic
There was no number on the keys
So I had to use my head

room n°

-

Picnic tables in a green gymnasium
Primary school, cardboard signed plates
Fancy concert fair, eyecatching guitar

-

Culture market and high temperature
Folding carpets, lots of fabric
Am I looking to travel ?

-

A hug for someone who needed it

-

Falling asleep in a couch somewhere, and waking up in a totally forest-like house
Being looking for cold water, or that icecubed apple juice 
Opening the fridge and seeing so many desserts my friends have done (I asked myself : why so many ?)

-

Took an apple from a stand and crush the cardboard box because it looks so crispy
What the fuck is wrong with me
The seller saw me and so I said sorry
But I explained that I love apples and the crisps and he laughed (I think)

-

Summer, swimming pool, wind
I miss the good old times

-

Was back at my mom's house
There was gusts of wind
Received a video on my phone
My brother was here, outside
The garden was shattered
In front of the house, there was so many flowers and a sheep

-

Sleepy brother,
I offered him a cushion and plaid 
and opened the window so he can rest

-

Was in the forest with schoolmates, decided to take another way, I sit on a bench.
It was warm, I was smoking, then I saw an old friend Gielis. He appeared, and I received many many messages from N who went visit his parent's house. I miss them. I also wanted to visit my parents.
Then I started to walk and some flying bugs were disrupted me, I had to walk back because I forgot my pullover somewhere. Then I saw Juliette running and playing a ball game with my teacher, I walk to their ways, it was a course and I was late so I sprinted and the schema of my solitude was proven that I grew differently.

-

Central Station. Civil war.
The duo splits. I just wanted to take the train to watch the landscapes, with the high tagged and deteriorated walls. Someone was by my side, consider them as my partner. A bomb exploded and I had to run away on the roof of a train someone tried to stab me and I unconsciously seduced them 



-

Landlord came to visit my place, there was people on my house like a kind of school exposition and each of us had to speak or show something.
Friends of mine were animating and suddenly the landlord asked me to show something, a song. Something that speaks my mind. It tookd me some time to decide what I wanted to show, and I was angry because I just had a dispute with someone and ended up a toxic relationship. I played " Sleeping beauty " by Akiakane because I always thought it was one of the most beautiful, powerful, and heartbreaking  song I ever listened.